March 24 – About making lemonade

 

I recently had a very good learning experience with a close friend who asked me to accompany her to the doctor as she needed to undergo an important and very unpleasant medical test. I really wanted to go and support her, so I took time off my work and made sure i am on time. To my biggest surprise she overslept and couldn’t make it.

 

So there I was, sitting at the hospital reception at 9 A.M. and feeling supremely frustrated. How could she do that to me?  I made such a big effort and what? It all went to vain? 

 

After continuously asking these questions i got two revelations. First, in my discontent i was really focused on myself and not on her. The truth was that my ego was hurt and it was screaming “Me, me, me!”. But the fact was that I did what I did to help her and not to put myself on a pedestal. So in the end there was nothing to be angry about because I made it as per my commitment. Being frustrated suddenly became a pointless and selfish exercise in which I didn’t want to engage any more.

 

And second- I had half a day off, so why wouldn’t I try to make the best out of it. In the end when life gives you lemons the best you can do is to make a lemonade. Eventually I had one of my best walks for this year and after which I was much more refreshed and focused than if I had stayed at the hospital.

 

Each experience that we go through can be seen as positive or negative depending on our perception. It is our choice to keep the bitter lemon, or to make lemonade out of it. That’s the beauty of life and also its biggest challenge.

2 comments

2 Comments
  • Nevena Dorova
    May 10, 2018

    Funnily enough I’ve just had the same bitter experience last week and it had never happened to me before. At least I don’t remember. And surely didn’t expected such a behavior from a grown-up woman. That breakfast that we should’ve meet up for was very important for me and she new it. However, she left me waiting for her for 45 minutes then wasn’t even bothered to answer my call or text me back. She didn’t show up at all. In the end she not only ruined my experience which I was anticipating for a year and a half but I felt embarrassed and like a complete fool. The next day she text me a big fat lie about her mom and puts the blame on her teenager son for not texting me. How do I excuse this situation with a greedy ego? It’s simple. It was a betrayal and this is part of life. I have no other choice but to accept it and get over it and stop dwelling on it. Instead of desperately trying to convince myself life is all rainbows and butterflies I should open and let myself accept the bitterness as well. It’s completely normal to let myself experience negative emotions. Because I often tend to try to lift myself emotionally at all costs and always be happy. That often is unhealthy, exhausting and disappointing.

  • Kote del Sole
    May 11, 2018

    Dear Nevena, thank you for the beautiful reflection. From my experience I can totally confirm acceptance is key – acceptance of the facts (somebody overslept, somebody didn’t show up, pehaps somebody didn’t even care enough, but we would never know for sure); acceptance of our emotions as they are ( indeed, no need to sugsrcoat), acceptance of life as such with its ups and downs..

    I once came accross an interesting methaphor about people e misstreating us depicted as visitors in our home bringing unwanted gifts – for instance a bag full of insects. Would we take their gift? Of course not. Similarly, we have the choice not to take on the ignorance of others, to accept them as they are and to focus our so precious energy elsewhere. Nevertheless, as with many things in life, its so mich easier said than done, but well.. we have a life time to practise and experiment 🙂 and I’m pretty sure there is no right and wrong as long as our hearths are opened.

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